Joy

Finding Gratitude In Everything

When we came into 2021 over 10 months ago, now, it seems we had a fantasy that it would be a new year with new hope, since 2020 was behind us. 2021 has proved to be an extension of 2020, blowing our fantasy.  

COVID still lurks, with the Delta variant creating more ambiguity about how freely we can move in the world. The split between vaxxers and anti-vaxxers is a continued reflection of the political divide in the US.  There is the debate about masking in schools. There is climate change and the weather-related events that go with it, including fires, heat and a summer of smoky air where I live in Colorado.

There are longer-term effects of COVID, including continued isolation, anxiety and depression, especially if living alone.  If all of this sounds depressing….it can be.

I look back on the early months of COVID when we were in various forms of lockdown and wonder, sometimes, how we got through this?  Restaurants and gyms closed for several months, mask mandates and 6 feet apart, lines to get into grocery stores.

I hated it.  We hated it.

How have I survived?

I’ve made a commitment to find something that brings me joy every day, and to experience joy as a full-body, sensory experience.  I’m fortunate to live in a beautiful place so it’s not difficult to look out my window and see the beauty of the natural world (even though the sky was grey with smoke many days this summer).

What are some of the other things that have brought me joy?

Many of them are quite simple. I’m sort of a “small space gardener.” I have flowering plants that I tend year-round.  It brings me joy to tend to them and watch them bloom.  Many of my neighbors have dogs (several COVID puppies).  Dogs don’t know about all of the turmoil in the world, although they may be sensitive to their human’s mood.  Dogs and puppies bring me joy.  I spotted a Praying Mantus the other day on my windowsill. The fall light with the sun lower in the sky creates long shadows.  This, along with sitting on my patio in the evening while it’s still warm enough, brings me joy. 

My circle of friends has grown smaller since the beginning of COVID.  I don’t go out as much.  I’m not as social as I have been in the past.  Somehow, this feels OK.  I have more time to listen to silence and to listen to my inner voice.  The net of friendship is deeper and not as wide, which feels more nourishing in some ways.

I’ve grown to appreciate some of the smaller, simpler and quieter aspects of life.  I also endeavor to stay away from too much news.   On my social media feed, I have blocked or deleted any source that brings negativity. One of my favorite Facebook pages is “view from my window,” which was started in the early days of COVID and went viral. I love seeing photos of beautiful places from all over the world. I get to travel from my living room!

Joy, for me, is a whole body, moment to moment, sensory experience.  And when I am feeling down or depressed with the weight of a world in conflict, I can bring back moments of simple joy that help bring me back to equanimity.

What brings you joy? Can you stop long enough to breathe it in and let it nourish you?

If you’re struggling to find joy in the face of past trauma, contact me to see how trauma therapy can help.